Men Dragged Through Family Courts: The Heartbreaking Struggle for Justice in India
Image: Picture created by a pupil for a school drawing competition in India. (Picture published by kind permission of the school)
There is a popular and persistent myth about India, especially in Western countries, that India is a place where women are universally oppressed and men are universally privileged. This narrative is repeated so often that it has become accepted as fact. It is presented in the media, academic discussions, and public discourse as a simple moral story: women as victims, men as perpetrators.
But reality is far more complex, and far more uncomfortable.
What is rarely acknowledged is that men in India, too, are suffering. Not in isolated incidents, but on a large scale. Men are being dragged through police stations, family courts, and legal processes that presume their guilt before their innocence is ever considered. Their reputations are destroyed. Their finances are drained. Their mental health collapses. Their families suffer alongside them. Yet their pain is ignored, dismissed, or treated as irrelevant.
My Experience
It was around 4 pm when I checked my phone before going out, and saw two missed calls, which Truecaller identified as from a sub-inspector of a police station. I immediately called the number and was met with a threatening voice saying that a complaint had been filed by my wife. That was the start of a nightmare I haven’t yet woken up from.
After that, I received multiple calls from different police personnel asking me to appear at the police station for mediation — essentially to give in to my wife's demands - or else my career and life would be destroyed.
When I went to the police station along with my father, my wife's father openly threatened to add more false allegations to the complaint. Shockingly, my wife assaulted my father inside the police station. The police officers on duty merely condemned the act but took no legal action. Since then, I have been spending huge amounts of money on travel, hotel stays, and lawyer fees.
My father, 73, a heart patient, and my mother, 66, a type 2 diabetic with high blood pressure, have not slept properly since then.
“A man is treated […] as an ATM machine for his wife, for his lawyer, for the police and for the judicial system. Huge numbers of innocent families are dragged into false litigation, in each case costing them as much as a man's annual income, and in many cases even more.”
We had both been married to other people before we met. Although she had not told me before we married each other, my wife has been a psychiatric patient on long-term medication for schizophrenia. Concealing a significant mental illness before marriage is considered grounds for annulment in India (and some other countries, including Spain and Poland). She has been unable to consummate the marriage, shattering my hopes of a normal married life with a partner and children. If only she or her family had disclosed this important information to be beforehand.
The Legal Situation in India — What International Readers Should Know
Many outside India may not understand how laws meant to protect women — like Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code and the Dowry Prohibition Act — can be misused, causing immense distress to innocent men and their families.
Section 498A IPC is a law enacted in 1983 to protect women from cruelty/dowry harassment — allows arrest without prior investigation. Complaints often implicate multiple relatives, sometimes without evidence.
The Dowry Prohibition Act & IPC 304B (dowry deaths) relates to a dowry, that is, any money, property, or valuable items given or demanded before, during, or after marriage because of the marriage. The Act prohibits both giving and receiving a dowry, and even helping in such transactions is a crime. Demanding a dowry is also punishable, even if the dowry is not actually given. This act was originally brought in order to protect genuine victims, but it can be misused. and the accused may have to prove their innocence even before a trial.
These laws are essential for genuine victims — but when misused, they become powerful weapons, and what many refer to as ‘legal and administrative violence’, where one partner uses the courts, the police, courts etc. against the other in an abusive manner.
The Emotional Toll
For years, I believed that marriage was a partnership built on trust, respect, and shared responsibility. But sometimes life takes a harsh turn—one that shatters not only your peace, but also the dignity of your entire family. I learned this the hard way when my separated wife and her family unleashed a barrage of false allegations. Overnight, I went from a hardworking husband to a criminal in the eyes of society, without evidence, without investigation, and without fairness.
What followed was legal and administrative violence, where a man is treated not as a human being with emotions, rights, and dignity, but as an ATM machine for his wife, for his lawyer, for the police and for the judicial system. Thousands of innocent families are dragged into false litigation, in each case costing them as much as a man's annual income, and in many cases even more.
“Everyone demands something of a man accused, even if the accusation is false. Nobody asks a man whether he is able to sleep at night. Nobody asks his aging parents how they feel when police barge into their home.”
Everyone demands something of a man accused, even if the accusation is false. Nobody asks a man whether he is able to sleep at night. Nobody asks his aging parents how they feel when police barge into their home. Nobody asks his siblings how it feels to be named in baseless FIRs (First Information Reports), which are the initial written document by the police when a crime is reported to them.
For the system, a man’s pain does not matter. His mental health does not matter. His version of events does not matter.
Regardless of the outcome (false, dismissed, genuine, or pending), these FIRs — often broad and vague — are lodged every year in large numbers. According to the 2023 NCRB Report, there were 133,676 cases registered under “Cruelty by Husband or Relatives” (IPC 498A) across India — underlining the scale of FIRs that can be filed against men and their families (Economic Times).
How Many Men (and Families) Are Actually Impacted?
Recent data shows that a lot of arrests happen due to false allegations. For example, The 2023 NCRB “Crime in India” report notes 133,676 cases under Section 498A IPC (cruelty by husband or relatives) and thousands of arrests occur annually under these laws, often leading to prolonged trauma for innocent men. Times Of India, ResearchGate
The Emotional Violence Nobody Talks About
False cases do not destroy only the accused—they devastate an entire ecosystem of innocent lives.
● Elderly parents live in fear of arrests.
● Sisters are dragged into cases they know nothing about.
● Fathers need to run from court to court, even if their health is failing.
● Men suffer anxiety, depression, and humiliation silently because society shames them for speaking out.
The silence around these issues, from the media and organisations who are in a position to help, is killing men in India. For those who are struggling to survive, the silence is destroying us emotionally, spiritually, psycholically, financially and physically. This deadly silence is exactly why thousands of men like me join the Save Indian Family Foundation every year, not to fight against women, but to fight against misuse of laws that have become weapons against men instead of shields for women.
My Legal Case — Just Beginning
Currently, my legal case is at its initial stage: my wife has filed a police complaint, followed by pre-litigation court mediation, which, statistics show, fails in most cases to resolve the dispute. When mediation fails, the case often escalates into a longer, more stressful legal battle that drags on for months or years. Even at this early stage, I have felt the anxiety, humiliation, and uncertainty that thousands of men endure in India every year.
A Recent Tragedy — The Case of Atul Subhash
The human cost of legal misuse was tragically underlined in December 2024 when Atul Subhash, a Bengaluru-based professional, died by suicide after alleged harassment through false complaints and extortion demands. His case highlighted how innocent men can be pushed to despair by misused legal provisions and societal pressures.
Becoming a Campaigner: From Victim to Voice
When you are pushed to the edge by a corrupted cycle of false allegations, you either break—or you rise.
I chose to rise.
Joining the Save Indian Family Foundation gave me strength, knowledge, support, and a voice that I was never allowed to have. It taught me that I am not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of men suffering the same injustice, but standing together, refusing to be silenced.
International Men’s Day: A New Source of Strength
On 19th November (International Men’s Day) last year, I chose to channel my personal struggles into positive action. Together with fellow volunteers from the Save Indian Family Foundation, I organised an Essay Writing and Drawing Competition at Shri Shivaji Vidya Mandir, a government school in Aundh, Pune.
Around 100 students enthusiastically participated in the event. They could choose between two themes: “My Superhero in Life” or “The Man Who Inspires Me”. What moved me most profoundly was that almost all of the children wrote about their fathers. They poured their hearts into describing the sacrifices, love, and everyday efforts of their dads—stories that society often overlooks. Many drew colourful illustrations depicting their fathers working tirelessly, supporting the family, and guiding them through challenges.
Image: Indian schoolchildren busy creating pictures for a drawing competition. (Picture published by kind permission of the school).
During the event, volunteers interviewed several students to learn more about why they considered their fathers heroes. The children shared heartfelt reflections: despite coming from financially constrained backgrounds, their fathers worked tirelessly to fulfil their educational and personal dreams. They highlighted how fathers balanced earning a livelihood with helping at home, assisting their mothers in household chores, and sacrificing their own desires to ensure the happiness and success of their children.
“The children shared […] how fathers balanced earning a livelihood with helping at home, assisting their mothers in household chores, and sacrificing their own desires to ensure the happiness and success of their children.”
Witnessing these children celebrate fatherhood and recognize the silent struggles of their fathers was profoundly moving. It reminded me that men’s contributions, emotions, and sacrifices are significant and deserve recognition. The strength, resilience, and gratitude expressed by these young minds provided a sense of purpose and hope that no courtroom could offer.
This event underscored a simple yet powerful message: men matter, their roles in families and society matter, and their silent struggles should never go unnoticed. It was a moment of affirmation that raising awareness and celebrating fatherhood can inspire change and empathy in the next generation.
Image: Pupils, teachers and SIFF volunteers at Shri Shivaji Vidya Mandir, a government school in Aundh, Pune. (Picture published by kind permission of the school).
Why Activities Like These Are Important
At a time when men are crushed by biased laws and manipulated by legal systems, celebrating International Men’s Day with children serves a powerful purpose:
•It restores faith in fatherhood for the next generation.
•It breaks the myth that men are never victims, they are only perpetrators
•It provides emotional healing to those of us exhausted from fighting legal battles.
•It inspires men to continue their struggles with courage, not guilt or shame.
•It spreads awareness that gender justice must be for all—men, women, and children.
International Men’s Day was not just a celebration. It was a reminder.
We may face hardship, but we will endure.
We may be misunderstood, but we will remain steadfast.
And we will continue moving forward, with the hope that truth and justice will prevail.
Moving Forward: Men Deserve Justice Too
False allegations under laws like 498A are not just marital disputes — they are life-destroying processes. Men are not ATMs or default criminals. Men are not punching bags for legal systems. Men deserve fairness, dignity, and equal protection under the law.
Even as my own case progresses, I now fight with purpose, clarity, and a community standing with me. And every time I see the smiles of children who proudly call their fathers their heroes, I am reminded: the truth matters, and justice is worth fighting for.
Helplines
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties of the kind described in this article, please reach out and get help. There are various helplines on our support page, including links to helplines internationally. Men in India experiencing these issues can contact these helplines.
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Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
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