Improving Men’s Mental Health: From Labels to Strengths
It’s sometime in the 2010s. I’m working as a mental health nurse, sat by the duty phone when I get a call from a man—angry, frustrated with services, clearly struggling. The more I try to manage and de-escalate, the worse it gets. I probably sound patronising—another brick in the wall he’s been hitting for a while.
When I hang up, a senior colleague asks, “Was that Mr. Jones?”
“Yes,” I reply.
“Ignore him. He’s just an angry man.”
At the time, I didn’t think much of it. But looking back, that moment is a tiny snapshot of a bigger problem: a man presents, assumptions are made, and the way we respond—however well-intentioned—becomes another barrier.
There’s no secret conspiracy against men in mental health. What’s happening is more subtle: small, repeated moments where the way we interpret and respond to men can unintentionally invalidate or alienate them. It’s not about bad people—it’s about a system and culture that doesn’t always match the needs and communication styles of the men it’s trying to help.
Over the years, through working clinically and running community sessions with Stand Tall, I’ve learned a lot. Some of it came through trial and error, some from evidence-based research, some from practice-based evidence, and a lot from listening to men themselves.
Here are four key themes we need to know and act on earlier in a man’s journey into mental health services.
1. Not Everything is a Disorder.
A man who’s depressed, anxious, stressed, or angry doesn’t always need a medical or psychological intervention. He often doesn’t even need a diagnostic label.
“He ticks some depression and anxiety boxes, but is this really a disorder, or is it life stripped of the elements that make it good?”
Picture this: after encouragement from friends or family, he finally plucks up the courage to reach out. He does what people say he should do—goes to his GP. He gives a clipped version of events, probably explains it poorly, maybe downplays it a bit. The GP listens, perhaps spots certain signs, and might refer him on or prescribe medication. Depression and anxiety get thrown around. This creates a bit of double-edge sword; men are less prompt to seek help than women are, sometimes due to stigma, but then we give them a psychiatric label, essentially reinforcing his concerns about getting help in the first place. He leaves thinking, “I have an illness…there is something wrong with me.”
But when you take the time to go deeper, you find stressors—work problems, relationship issues, poor sleep, maybe low testosterone, no meaningful male support network, no sense of purpose or outlet. He ticks some depression and anxiety boxes, but is this really a disorder, or is it life stripped of the elements that make it good?
Services often respond to clinical presentations with clinical solutions. But sometimes distress is an entirely understandable response to relentless stressors.
Symptoms need context, not always pathology.
That doesn’t mean avoiding help when there are real risks—thoughts of suicide, major personality change, functional decline, or psychosis require specialist input. But for many men, what helps most is guidance on how to get out of the hole: local clubs, hobbies, a sense of purpose, groups, connecting with peers, and practical help tackling work and social stressors.
A man’s distress should be understood in the context of his life, not just as a list of symptoms to be ticked off.
“We wouldn’t tell a woman in distress, ‘Calm down and explain to me in one word what’s wrong.’ But we sometimes swing to the opposite extreme with men, asking, ‘Tell me what’s going through your mind and all the feelings you’re experiencing.’”
2. Men Talk Differently – and That’s OK.
We’ve known for decades that, on average, men express emotions less often and less openly than women. This difference is partly socialised, partly biological, and totally normal. Yet we often expect men to talk about their feelings as if they have a therapist’s vocabulary ready to go.
We wouldn’t tell a woman in distress, “Calm down and explain to me in one word what’s wrong.” But we sometimes swing to the opposite extreme with men, asking, “Tell me what’s going through your mind and all the feelings you’re experiencing.” This can be just as invalidating—especially for someone unused to putting emotions into words.
Men often present differently. They might say they feel “on edge,” “hot-headed,” or “ready to blow.” They might describe their heart racing or wanting to punch a wall. These are emotional experiences, but expressed somatically or behaviourally. A meta-analysis of 32 studies found that men often express psychological distress through substance abuse, anger, agitation, or physical symptoms rather than the “low mood” descriptors we associate with depression.
The point isn’t to force men into emotional expression prematurely—it’s to meet them where they are. If a man says, “I feel wired all the time,” maybe don’t immediately push for deeper emotions. Hear what he’s actually telling you.
Men are more likely to ‘open up’ when calm, safe, and among people they trust—not in a rushed phone call or awkward consultation. That’s why community-based interventions—clubs, gyms, peer groups, men’s circles—are so valuable. Social prescribing works when tailored to the person in front of you. These spaces provide safety, connection, and a bridge to more open conversation later.
If he comes back to services later with ongoing difficulties, he may have peer support, better coping strategies, and be more able to articulate what’s going on.
3. Anger Isn’t the Enemy
Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions in men. It’s often treated as a problem behaviour—something dangerous or non-compliant—but it’s usually masking something deeper: pain, shame, helplessness. Anger is an independent risk factor strongly associated with suicidal thoughts in men, yet it’s often dismissed or mishandled. If we dismiss anger as “non-compliance” or “bad attitude,” legitimate risk is brushed aside.
“You don’t have to fix everything on the spot—just avoid making things worse by being another wall to push against. If a man’s angry, hear him out.”
Here’s what’s happening in the brain: anger hijacks the limbic system and shuts down the frontal lobe. That means action often comes before thought. But anger is an emotion; aggression is a behaviour. That distinction matters. Behaviours can be changed with the right understanding and tools.
We should be equipping men with simple psychoeducation and emotional regulation strategies. And it starts with helping them understand that anger is often linked to other challenges—addiction, sleep problems, poor diet, isolation, burnout, or trauma.
If we can just hear it—not shut it down—we can help men walk it back.
One tool I often use is from emotional regulation training: the STOP skill. Stop. Take a breath. Observe. Proceed. It’s basic, but effective. It buys time and helps ride the emotional wave rather than fighting it.
You don’t have to fix everything on the spot—just avoid making things worse by being another wall to push against. If a man’s angry, hear him out. Don’t block, antagonise, or interrogate. Let it ride. Then help him make sense of it.
4. When He’s in a Hole, Hand Him a Ladder
Mental health professionals are often trained to avoid being overly prescriptive—letting the client lead, using open questions, facilitating their own agency. That’s important, but with many men, a simple, practical solution can also be a lifeline.
“When someone’s in a hole, they don’t always want a reflective conversation—they want a ladder. Save the conversations for talking therapies.”
When someone’s in a hole, they don’t always want a reflective conversation—they want a ladder. Save the conversations for talking therapies.
Lets look at sleep as an example. Most people presenting to mental health services aren’t sleeping well. Take a bit of time to explain the science, then give a clear plan: “Cut caffeine after midday, keep a regular bedtime, get morning light, and try this for two weeks.”
Or make it about action and accountability: “Take a long walk this weekend. Hit the gym with your mate. Try that local meet-up. Report back.”
These “nudges” work because they tap into male strengths—dependability, accountability, purpose and the urge for independent self-development. They provide structure, a framework for change, and a sense of progress.
Look at the explosion of male-focused content online—fitness coaches, podcasters, “bro science” influencers. They offer structure, goals, and self-development (albeit often misguided or unhelpful). The content isn’t always evidence-based, but it’s engaging, because it’s actionable and a bit prescriptive. I think mental health services could learn a lot from this.
Conclusion – Moving From Labels to Leverage
The conversation about men’s mental health too often begins and ends with pathology and risk. Those matter—but so do strengths, context, and potential. We cannot have more of the same. So next conversation take stock and think about these:
Listening before labelling.
Meeting men in their own language and frame of reference.
Taking anger seriously.
Recognising strengths alongside struggles.
Offering practical solutions that build his world from the ground up.
Let’s start working with men’s strengths, not pushing them away because of their weaknesses. If services can shift from gatekeeping to guidance, from judgement to curiosity, we stand a better chance of reducing the male mental health burden—one conversation, and one man, at a time.
Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
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