Good fathers are good for everyone
As you might expect, the Male Psychology Network is interested in the role of the father in the family. Given that our blog spot was recently ranked 3rd for psychology in the UK, I thought it would be a good idea to look at some of the blogs from the past year and see what they tell us about fathers and fatherhood.
The overall message is that fathers have an important role in the family. If they get it right, there are benefits for all concerned, but if something goes wrong, it can be damaging for all concerned.
An example of things going wrong with the fathering was seen in Jennie Cummings-Knight’s review of Grayson Perry’s book ‘The Descent of Man’: “an absentee father and a violent step father are some of the elements that interacted upon the young Perry and led him to taking refuge in his mother’s wardrobe (literally and figuratively)”.
One is left wondering whether the various attacks that Perry launches on men and masculinity are a result of unsatisfactory male role models in his childhood. This is echoed in Dr Kevin Wright’s article: “In the absence of positive male role models, sons often drift aimlessly and may end up in gangs. This not only is a problem for society, but allows a boy to waste his life to criminality, mental illness, substance abuse and even suicide”. Child psychotherapist Andrew Briggs observed that father absence is implicated in self-harm, ADHD, and predatory sexual behaviour.
“Some people will have had fathers who fell well short of ideal, but that doesn’t mean the role of the father (or masculinity, or men in general) is inherently wrong.”
Being an absent father is sometimes a choice men make, but all too often it is imposed upon them. Sometimes the children in separated families are turned against the father in a heartbreaking way, as happens in parental alienation. The degree to which the distress caused by family breakdown and lack of access to children can lead to suicide is not known due to lack of definite statistics, but is the subject of forthcoming research by the Male Psychology Network. [Edit: our subsequent research found lack of access to their children was a source of chronic stress to separated fathers].
Inevitably of course some men will make a mess of the father role largely due to their own faults. The Male Psychology Network has no illusions about the possibility of men getting things wrong, as reflected in our support for developments in forensic psychology, including preventing child sexual abuse. We take a proactive approach to improving men’s mental health, which we believe will reduce criminality and related social problems.
The other side of the coin is that good fathers are good for everyone. This is suggested by the finding of the Harry’s Masculinity report (by John Barry and Martin Daubney) that the more a man aspires to be like his father, the better his mental health. It seems to be especially important to the stable development of boys, says Belinda Brown, to grow up with a male role model demonstrating positive aspects of masculinity.
Although some people are hostile to the traditional role of the father, alternative roles for fathers haven’t been overwhelmingly popular so far, as highlighted by Dr Rob Hadley’s article about involved fathering.
Some people will have had fathers who fell well short of ideal, but that doesn’t mean the role of the father (or masculinity, or men in general) is inherently wrong. No matter what your views are of the traditional role of the father, it’s a good idea to make Fathers Day an opportunity to make an extra effort to extend some human warmth to the man without whom you would not be here today.
This article was first published on the Male Psychology Network website in 2018
Scroll down to join the discussion
Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
Like our articles?
Click here to subscribe to our FREE newsletter and be first
to hear about news, events, and publications.
When a male is in a power imbalance, at least two masculine instincts are disempowered…
…people – men and women alike – respond less positively to male-favouring sex differences than they do to female-favouring sex differences.
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
Men might benefit greatly from a government strategy aimed at improving their health. Here are suggestions from the Centre for Male Psychology on how that might be done. This article ends with some comments on potential pitfalls in the process of putting this strategy in place.
…people – men and women alike – respond less positively to male-favouring sex differences than they do to female-favouring sex differences.
… many papers do not even bother to identify or justify the nationality of their samples…
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
There is social power, there is structural power, and there is physical power. What women have in our society is the power of the state behind them, and men do not. Men only have that physical power, and most men don’t want to use it
people are more aware of the fact men can be victims of this type of violence, but this often isn’t translated into policy, practice or indeed provision of resources
Therapists can work effectively with men experiencing distress without asking them to change. Telling them they are ‘doing masculinity wrong’ is judgemental and victim blaming.
people are more aware of the fact men can be victims of this type of violence, but this often isn’t translated into policy, practice or indeed provision of resources
people are more aware of the fact men can be victims of this type of violence, but this often isn’t translated into policy, practice or indeed provision of resources
Have you got something to say?
Check out our submissions page to find out how to write for us.
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
Much of our attitudes, theorizing and public debate around men and masculinity is influenced by high profile feminist and Gender Studies scholars in academia. But what is the scientific quality of publications from these scholars?
Some people blame drill music – a form of rap - for the rising murder rate in London. Drill is known for aggressive lyrics about gang violence, but rather than seeing this as a valuable way for young men to express their feelings, some people want to ban it.
To survive… cultures have to use men and women effectively and … in fact, most cultures have used men and women in different ways… what our culture does is [grant] greater status to men and greater protection to women
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
There are around 300,000 veterans living with hearing loss in the UK, according to The Royal British Legion. In addition to being at a greater risk of PTSD, depression, and anxiety, many vets are also battling psychological distress from hearing problems.
The book begins with a description of her therapeutic approach, and an illustration of how to understand and work with the rage often seen in male CSA clients.
I felt in my dealings with some police officers, as though I were treated firstly as a man (assumed to be a perpetrator), but they’d overlooked risks associated with my impairment. Example: How can you dodge a missile you don’t see coming?
The Panorama programme on domestic violence failed to adequately highlight two important issues: male victims and female perpetrators.
your photograph, name and address, might appear in the local and national press and on TV, insinuating what an evil monster you are
…an attack upon masculinity is an attack upon one’s sense of self, of identity. …What, then, is the right psychological defence against such an attack?
The male has been designed to “look”, not only at the female, but to “look out” for prey, for danger, and for ways to protect his family unit.
If his child is allowed to live, this man must be available, for the rest of his life, to love and provide for his child… If, on the other hand, it is decided that his child is to be destroyed, he should be able to go about his life as if nothing has happened
Socialising is a basic human need. The opposite – social isolation – is one of the worst forms of torture. Some people look down on the local pub as a place for undesirable riff raff, but that narrow viewpoint misses entirely the community value of the pub
Male psychology is a recent development in academia. Unlike gender studies, feminism, and men’s studies, male psychology takes the view that we can gain more by recognising and harnessing the positive aspects of masculinity than we can by taking a relentlessly negative approach to men.
.
John Barry
Dr John Barry is a chartered psychologist, researcher, clinical hypnotherapist and co-founder of the Male Psychology Network, BPS Male Psychology Section, and The Centre for Male Psychology (CMP). Also co-editor of the Palgrave Handbook of Male Psychology & Mental Health, co-author of the textbook Perspectives in Male Psychology: An Introduction (Wiley), and presenter on Centre for Male Psychology training courses.