“It has to start with listening”. A feminist comes to terms with the Men's Rights movement. (Inspiring quotes from Cassie Jaye’s TEDx Talk).
Cassie Jaye is the director and producer of the 2016 American documentary film The Red Pill which explores the men's rights movement.
Jaye spent a year interviewing men's rights figures in North America, including Paul Elam, founder of A Voice for Men; and Warren Farrell, author of The Myth of Male Power. Forty four people were filmed in total producing 100 hours of footage.
Jaye also kept a video diary, recording her evolving views on the project. One surprising change was her journey from identifying as a proud feminist to dropping the feminist label completely.
A year after the film was released, Cassie Jaye gave a TEDx Talk called ‘MEETING THE ENEMY: A feminist comes to terms with the men's rights movement’ about her experience of making The Red Pill. It hit YouTube just over four years ago on October 18th 2017 and to date has nearly 10 million views, 450K upvotes and 50K comments.
Many of her wise reflections in her TEDx apply beyond gender issues, to any area where polarised views exists.
Our recent interview with Cassie Jaye received overwhelmingly positive attention, so as an added bonus we thought we would share a reminder also of her inspirational TED Talk. This article highlights some of the most insightful quotes from Jaye’s talk.
You can watch the full TEDx here (highly recommended).
The numbers below relate to the timestamp of that particular quote.
The enemy
00.14: “In 2013, I decided to meet my enemies. I was a 27-year-old, award-winning documentary filmmaker and a proud feminist. And I was determined to expose the dark underbelly of the men's rights movement. At that point, all I knew of the men's rights movement was from what I'd read online, that it's a misogynistic hate group actively working against women's equality.”
Knee-jerk reactions
04.23: “I would often hear an innocent, valid point that a men's rights activist would make, but in my head, I would add on to their statements, a sexist or anti-woman spin, assuming that's what they wanted to say but didn't.”
03.22: “… my initial knee-jerk reactions to certain statements weren't really warranted, and my feeling offended did not hold up to intense scrutiny.”
Down the rabbit hole
06.42: “in my effort to avoid agreeing with my enemy completely, I changed from putting words in their mouth, to acknowledging the issue, but insisting they are women's issues.”
07.55: “Why couldn't I simply learn about men's issues and have compassion for male victims without jumping at the opportunity to insist that women are the real victims?”
“When you start to humanize your enemy, you, in turn, may be dehumanized by your community”
On human rights issues affecting men
08.10: “Well, after years of researching and fact-checking what the men's rights activists were telling me, there is no denying that there are many human rights issues that disproportionately or uniquely affect men.”
08.28: “Paternity fraud uniquely affects men. The United States selective service in the case of a draft still uniquely affects men. Workplace deaths: disproportionately men. War deaths: overwhelmingly men. Suicide: overwhelmingly men. Sentencing disparity, life expectancy, child custody, child support, false rape allegations, criminal court bias, misandry, failure to launch, boys falling behind in education, homelessness, veterans’ issues, infant male genital mutilation, lack of parental choice once a child is conceived, lack of resources for male victims of domestic violence… so many issues that are heartbreaking,”
09.22: “Most people can't name one [men's rights issue], because they think, "Well, men have all their rights; they have all the power and privilege." But these issues deserve to be acknowledged. They deserve care, attention, and motivation for solutions.”
On Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs)
06.15: “I eventually realized what they are saying; they are trying to add to the gender equality discussion.”
13.14: “Men's groups are continually vilified, falsely referred to as hate groups, and their voices are systematically silenced.”
“I did meet my enemy while filming. It was my ego saying that I was right, and they were subhuman.”
Target of a smear campaign
10.54: “When you start to humanize your enemy, you, in turn, may be dehumanized by your community… Rather than debating the merit of the issues addressed in the film, I became the target of a smear campaign, and people who had never seen the movie protested outside the theatre doors, chanting that it was harmful to women.”
The greatest challenge
12.19: “The greatest challenge I faced was peeling back the layers of my own bias. It turns out I did meet my enemy while filming. It was my ego saying that I was right, and they were subhuman.”
No longer a feminist
09.42: “Before making The Red Pill movie, I was a feminist of about ten years, and I thought I was well-versed on gender equality issues. But it wasn't until I met men's rights activists that I finally started to consider the other side of the gender equality equation.”
12.44: “It's no secret now that I no longer call myself a feminist, but I must clarify I am not anti-feminist, and I am not a men's rights activist. I still support women's rights, and I now care about men's rights as well. However, I believe if we want to honestly discuss gender equality, we need to invite all voices to the table.”
Cassie Jaye’s final piece of advice
13.42: “If I could give advice to anyone in our society at large, we have to stop expecting to be offended, and we have to start truly, openly, and sincerely listening. That would lead to a greater understanding of ourselves and others, having compassion for one another, working together towards solutions because we all are in this together. And once we do that, we can finally heal from the inside out. But it has to start with listening.”
Cassie Jaye is an American film director with Jaye Bird Productions. As an actor she felt typecast as “the cute girl-next-door who always died in horror films”. Experiences of sexual harassment led her to embrace feminism, though she famously later rejected feminism as a result of her experiences in The Red Pill. Cassie recently became a mother.
Scroll down to join the discussion
Disclaimer: This article is for information purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, legal advice, or other professional opinion. Never disregard such advice because of this article or anything else you have read from the Centre for Male Psychology. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of, or are endorsed by, The Centre for Male Psychology, and we cannot be held responsible for these views. Read our full disclaimer here.
Like our articles?
Click here to subscribe to our FREE newsletter and be first
to hear about news, events, and publications.
When a male is in a power imbalance, at least two masculine instincts are disempowered…
…people – men and women alike – respond less positively to male-favouring sex differences than they do to female-favouring sex differences.
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
Men might benefit greatly from a government strategy aimed at improving their health. Here are suggestions from the Centre for Male Psychology on how that might be done. This article ends with some comments on potential pitfalls in the process of putting this strategy in place.
…people – men and women alike – respond less positively to male-favouring sex differences than they do to female-favouring sex differences.
… many papers do not even bother to identify or justify the nationality of their samples…
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
There is social power, there is structural power, and there is physical power. What women have in our society is the power of the state behind them, and men do not. Men only have that physical power, and most men don’t want to use it
people are more aware of the fact men can be victims of this type of violence, but this often isn’t translated into policy, practice or indeed provision of resources
Therapists can work effectively with men experiencing distress without asking them to change. Telling them they are ‘doing masculinity wrong’ is judgemental and victim blaming.
people are more aware of the fact men can be victims of this type of violence, but this often isn’t translated into policy, practice or indeed provision of resources
people are more aware of the fact men can be victims of this type of violence, but this often isn’t translated into policy, practice or indeed provision of resources
Have you got something to say?
Check out our submissions page to find out how to write for us.
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
Much of our attitudes, theorizing and public debate around men and masculinity is influenced by high profile feminist and Gender Studies scholars in academia. But what is the scientific quality of publications from these scholars?
Some people blame drill music – a form of rap - for the rising murder rate in London. Drill is known for aggressive lyrics about gang violence, but rather than seeing this as a valuable way for young men to express their feelings, some people want to ban it.
To survive… cultures have to use men and women effectively and … in fact, most cultures have used men and women in different ways… what our culture does is [grant] greater status to men and greater protection to women
hyper-masculine gender norms are typically embedded within military institutions, and while adherence to these norms can contribute to combat and military success, they conversely make clinical work challenging
There are around 300,000 veterans living with hearing loss in the UK, according to The Royal British Legion. In addition to being at a greater risk of PTSD, depression, and anxiety, many vets are also battling psychological distress from hearing problems.
The book begins with a description of her therapeutic approach, and an illustration of how to understand and work with the rage often seen in male CSA clients.
I felt in my dealings with some police officers, as though I were treated firstly as a man (assumed to be a perpetrator), but they’d overlooked risks associated with my impairment. Example: How can you dodge a missile you don’t see coming?
The Panorama programme on domestic violence failed to adequately highlight two important issues: male victims and female perpetrators.
your photograph, name and address, might appear in the local and national press and on TV, insinuating what an evil monster you are
…an attack upon masculinity is an attack upon one’s sense of self, of identity. …What, then, is the right psychological defence against such an attack?
The male has been designed to “look”, not only at the female, but to “look out” for prey, for danger, and for ways to protect his family unit.
If his child is allowed to live, this man must be available, for the rest of his life, to love and provide for his child… If, on the other hand, it is decided that his child is to be destroyed, he should be able to go about his life as if nothing has happened
Socialising is a basic human need. The opposite – social isolation – is one of the worst forms of torture. Some people look down on the local pub as a place for undesirable riff raff, but that narrow viewpoint misses entirely the community value of the pub
Male psychology is a recent development in academia. Unlike gender studies, feminism, and men’s studies, male psychology takes the view that we can gain more by recognising and harnessing the positive aspects of masculinity than we can by taking a relentlessly negative approach to men.
.
